The One With the Refrigerator

I was cleaning the refrigerator the other day and I had a distinct rush of emotion and felt Bella's presence. She would often stick her little nose in the fridge when I would open it to get her, or myself something to eat. It always reminded me of a young child (me, maybe) bugging their mother for something to eat and looking at a multitude of goodies, fruit, veggies, and more...but seeing nothing! "Mom, what is there to eat?", the child would wail, clearly momentarily blind to all of the food staring back at her! It brought a smile to my face even though cleaning the fridge is one of my least favorite chores!

I realized the other day, why I was feeling so funky this week. The three-month anniversary of Bella's passing was earlier this week. I truly miss her. She was good company and filled my day with meaning and goodness. I have her photos stored on my phone as a screensaver. When I am feeling blue, or have a twinge of her presence in the room, I often find myself talking to her (the screensaver, that is).

Last night, I thought I saw someone in the backyard with a bright light. Even though the alarm was set, I was terrified. Frozen on the couch in the living room, late at night, I called the police. Within five minutes (even though it seemed much longer), they sent a cruiser with two officers...and a helicopter buzzing the house, bright lights and all!

I remember thinking, "If Bella was here, I would feel safe. Even though she was not a barker by nature, she would have barked at the sounds from the backyard and protected her Momma!"

I still find myself looking at dog photos on the rescue sites, thinking about the day I might get a dog. I think about how a dog would have protected me last night, and how safe I would have felt, and how it would have diminished my need to call the police. Someday...