The One With the Refrigerator

I was cleaning the refrigerator the other day and I had a distinct rush of emotion and felt Bella's presence. She would often stick her little nose in the fridge when I would open it to get her, or myself something to eat. It always reminded me of a young child (me, maybe) bugging their mother for something to eat and looking at a multitude of goodies, fruit, veggies, and more...but seeing nothing! "Mom, what is there to eat?", the child would wail, clearly momentarily blind to all of the food staring back at her! It brought a smile to my face even though cleaning the fridge is one of my least favorite chores!

I realized the other day, why I was feeling so funky this week. The three-month anniversary of Bella's passing was earlier this week. I truly miss her. She was good company and filled my day with meaning and goodness. I have her photos stored on my phone as a screensaver. When I am feeling blue, or have a twinge of her presence in the room, I often find myself talking to her (the screensaver, that is).

Last night, I thought I saw someone in the backyard with a bright light. Even though the alarm was set, I was terrified. Frozen on the couch in the living room, late at night, I called the police. Within five minutes (even though it seemed much longer), they sent a cruiser with two officers...and a helicopter buzzing the house, bright lights and all!

I remember thinking, "If Bella was here, I would feel safe. Even though she was not a barker by nature, she would have barked at the sounds from the backyard and protected her Momma!"

I still find myself looking at dog photos on the rescue sites, thinking about the day I might get a dog. I think about how a dog would have protected me last night, and how safe I would have felt, and how it would have diminished my need to call the police. Someday...

The One With the Car Wash

I think this will be my last post for a bit. I have not felt compelled to write and until now I could not find a topic. I went out and ran errands late last week and came back home as there was a dust storm heading into the Valley. Of course, not knowing there was a dust storm impending, I stopped to get the car washed on my way home. One thing I have not been able to do is wash my driver's side window. Bella's little nose-prints are still there from months ago.  And even though I would prefer a clean window, there is something heartwarming about seeing that little nose schmear on my window. 

As I was preparing to hunker down for the evening, I stumbled across Marley & Me on television. I forgot Marley gets ill in the end and needs to be euthanized. It brought back many memories, none of them good, and all with a lot of angst. 

I am getting a great deal of pleasure watching my favorite little rescue organizations adopt dogs who have long been in their care. G-d blesses these organizations for undertaking the work they do. In my experience, the dogs are often matted and filthy, full of ticks, possibly fleas, and have a myriad of other maladies. As you may recall, this is how I found Bella at the local pound. One organization seems to be drawn to dogs that have eye problems and often require an enucleation of one or both eyes (surgical removal of the eyeball).  

The organizations are largely dependent on the grace and charity of others. If you have an opportunity, consider looking into volunteering, fostering, or somehow supporting them. By the way, all of my favorite organizations have a Facebook page where they post dogs available to adopt, who have been adopted, etc. Check out your favorite rescues on FB, it is a great way to stay in touch with them.

Bella's Place

Before I brought Bella home in 2008, I prepared myself for her to join the household with the car seat, food, beds, leash, etc. I established a relationship with the local vet, and more. One thing I knew from previous training was the Heimlich maneuver! Okay, so I did not exactly prepare for it dog-wise, I mean, I know how to accomplish it in humans, so if an emergent situation presented itself, wouldn't the same rules apply to dogs?

Bella, as you know, liked her Greenies. She also went through a period where she liked to chew on an item called C.E.T HEXtra Chews. They tasted good to Bella and they were supposed to be good for her teeth.  She would get them down to a small nub, and with my mother-love, I would swoop in and throw away the last masticated bit. Once, I did not catch her, and she started choking on the last little nub. Not one to sit by and watch, I jumped into action! I stood over and behind her, placed my clenched fists under her rib-cage and swiftly pulled up! Voila! The nub of the chew was expelled and all was good. I don't think Bella realized what occurred, but she was back to being happy and breathing. Thank goodness!

Earlier this week I spoke with the vet. I was concerned that I somehow contributed to Bella's demise. What caused the pancreatitis and did I do something to exacerbate the illness and hasten her demise. Dr. Watson assured me I did nothing to aggravate or cause the pancreatitis. I felt slightly more confident after speaking with him. I know it will take time.